my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
