you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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