I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
