Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
