beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
