So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
