Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
