i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
