We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
