Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
