So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
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