The police scanner is talking about you again....
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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