Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
