I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
