my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
My vagina is very pro this idea
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
