Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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