it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
