My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
