I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Randomize
