so explain again why im purple
no
People with herpes should wear stickers.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
