Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
