after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
