I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
