Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
