I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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