As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
