best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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