If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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