Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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