I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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