that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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