I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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