just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
17 year olds will be the death of me.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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