Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
