drinking out of a sandbucket again
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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