Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
