Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
