All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
