Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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