Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
