I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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