Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just want to make out with him forever
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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