If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
The feeling are messing with the penis
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
