She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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