So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
