You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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