Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
