don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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