She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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