he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
