Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
