So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
