I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
