And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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