he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Someone signed my nipple.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
