I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
