well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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