so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
