I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
