When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
