Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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