I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
